Survivor: Hawaii
by fireylight
Summary: Yep, you guessed it. The X men and the Brotherhood duke it out Survivor-style, set in the sunny beaches of Hawaii. Pls read and review! *CHPT 2 Up!!*
1. And we all get acquianted

Hello Hello! I am fully aware that I should be working on my other fic, Kitty's diary, but I have to admit that I'm feeling too hyper to do write the Rogue/Remy chapter. *nods gravely* Kd reviewers please don't kill me! I've already spent ages planning it, and it should be up soon (I hope).  
  
In this fic, I added Jean and Xavier bashing (fun! fun!), no surprise there. I'm open to reviews on any thoughts or suggestions you might have - oh, and bets on who's going to be the ultimate survivor! :):):) Important note: the tribe names were a last minute decision! I'm not crazy yet!  
  
Hosts: Magneto and Prof. X  
  
Cameramen/ Extras: Logan, Storm  
  
Props people: None. The show is short on cash and manpower, obviously.  
  
Planners: See above.  
  
Director: See above.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own X men evolution. Surprise, surprise. :) Oh, and I don't own Survivor.  
  
  
  
Scene opens in one of Hawaii's many beaches. Two lone figures in the distance (that bear an uncanny resemblance to Ororo and a mortified Logan) start doing the hula in their grass skirts. Exotic tribal music resounds in the background. Suddenly, a volcano erupts behind them, and they run into the bushes screaming their heads off  
  
  
  
SURVIVOR: HAWAII  
  
MAGNETO: Welcome to Survivor: Hawaii. As we all know, Hawaii is known for its clear waters and sa -  
  
XAVIER: (cuts in helpfully) sandy beaches.  
  
MAGNETO: Will you stop interrupting? I'm talking here!  
  
XAVIER: (pouts) I'm a host, too! I wanna say something! (stamps foot)  
  
MAGNETO: (sighing resignedly) Fine.  
  
XAVIER: (toothy grin) I just wanna let all you guys out there know that I RAWKK!!! ALL RIGHT!!!  
  
MAGNETO: (rubs temples) That's nice. Right, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted -  
  
XAVIER: What are you talking about? I never interrupt!  
  
MAGNETO: That -  
  
XAVIER: I have a right to! I'm a host, too! I wanna say something! (stamps foot)  
  
MAGNETO: (Now sounding thoroughly irritated) Oh, go ahead.  
  
XAVIER: I just wanna -  
  
MAGNETO: You said that already.  
  
XAVIER: o_0 I did? What did I say?  
  
MAGNETO: (dismissively) Oh, the usual. The fact that you - uh . . . RAWK! and all.  
  
XAVIER: True, true. But I have a right to! I'm a host, too! I wanna say something! (stamps foot)  
  
MAGNETO: Is it just me, or are you starting to sound like some broken gramophone? We have a show to host here! Shoo! Shoo! (pushes Xavier facefirst into sand)  
  
XAVIER: (eyes widening) Whoa! Seashells!  
  
MAGNETO: o_0  
  
XAVIER: (eyes going glassy) I remember last time my mommy used to collect them with me. . . I was a wee tot just then. . .  
  
MAGNETO: Ri-ight. (moves closer to camera, effectively screening the psychotic Xavier from view) As I said, we're here today to witness a game of wits and strategy, a game based on sheer willpower. . . without further ado. . . I give you. . . the participants!  
  
Enter the twelve participants: (x men) Scott, Jean, Rogue, Kurt, Kitty, Evan, (brotherhood) Lance, Todd, Fred, Pietro, Tabitha, and Wanda.]  
  
MAGNETO: Now why don't we all introduce ourselves -  
  
LOGAN: (behind the camera, grumpily) We're ten minutes behind, bub. I suggest we move on.  
  
MAGNETO: Oh, come on. It's never fun when you skip introductions! threatening sound of claws heard Uh - never mind. Let's move on, shall we?  
  
JEAN: But I want to introduce myself! (stamps foot) I have a right to! I wanna say something!  
  
MAGNETO: Not you, too! (grumbles) You're turning into a Xavier clone!  
  
JEAN: WHO?!? Magneto jabs a finger at a blissfully ignorant Xavier, who has begun stringing seashells around his neck. Jean, shocked that such a comparison could be made to her perfect self, faints away in distress.  
  
SCOTT: (rushes forward in a heroic manner) I'll save you, Jean! . . . Whoopsie. Loud thump is heard as Jean falls a meter away from where Scott is standing  
  
ROGUE: Tsk. Such horrible aim, ain't it?  
  
SCOTT: (indignantly) The sun's rays were in my eyes! I couldn't see!  
  
ROGUE: Ya wearin' sunglasses, ya ninny. (sighs impatiently) Can Ah go back now?  
  
MAGNETO: (shocked expression) Of course not! You're supposed to stay here until you get voted out by your tribe mates. That is, if you get voted out. . .  
  
ROGUE: (sarcastically) Great. Just what Ah wanted. Days in the wilderness, with mutant teen adolescents to rely on for mah very survival. Ah feel so assured.  
  
KITTY: (unsuspectingly) Yeah, isn't that cool? We can have marshmallows by the campfire and everything!  
  
LANCE: (dreamily) Campfire songs? Sharing of marshmallows? (looks at Kitty once more before dropping into a state of bliss)  
  
FRED: The food _is_ catered for, right?  
  
Awkward silence  
  
MAGNETO: Well. . . uh. . . not exactly.  
  
ALL: WHAT?!?  
  
MAGNETO: (hurriedly) It's in the show name! "Survivor"! You're supposed to survive on your own! (mutters under breath) Damned kids.  
  
PIETRO: The food's not a problem. What about toilets? If I don't have a mirror to admire myself in. . .  
  
KURT: You mean "preen", right?  
  
MAGNETO: (extremely harried now) Now, in the wilderness, you can dig holes in the ground -  
  
ALL (except Todd): Eww. . .  
  
TODD: Great!  
  
MAGNETO: and you'll have to build your own shelters out of leaves and such -  
  
ALL (except Todd): Eww. . .  
  
TODD: Great!  
  
MAGNETO: and you'll have to find your own way to your water source. That means: no source, no showers.  
  
ALL (except Todd): Eww!  
  
TODD: (cheerfully) Great!  
  
LOGAN: (cuts in irritatedly) Bub, I'm warnin' ya. . . cut to the point!  
  
MAGNETO: (Looking pitifully into the camera) Now, we'll start splitting you all into two groups.  
  
ROGUE: Let me be the lone one in the third group. Ah don't mind.  
  
MAGNETO: (severely) No! It's an even number! Six per group!  
  
ROGUE: Darn.  
  
MAGNETO: (cautiously stepping over Pietro and Jean's unconscious bodies) Ahem. Tribe NemX [A/n: I know . . . lame name attack! NemX is actually X men backwards. Heh. . .] will consist of: Scott, Jean, Rogue, Kurt, Kitty and Evan.  
  
SCOTT: Don't _I_ have a say in this? I have a right to! I'm the fearless leader! I wanna say something! (stamps foot, and squishes Jean by accident) Oops.  
  
MAGNETO: (glaring) WHAT?  
  
SCOTT: I pick to be in tribe NemX . . . Jean, Rogue, Kurt, Kitty and Evan.  
  
LANCE: (cuts in) And _I_ pick: Pietro, Fred, Todd, Wanda and Tabby. (triumphant look) So there!  
  
MAGNETO: Why do I bother? WHY?!? (sobs)  
  
TABITHA: Wait! We don't have a tribe name!  
  
MAGNETO: (ceases crying) It's Doohb. [A/n: *dodges rotten fruit* I know! Dumb name! *points accusing finger at flitwicke*]  
  
TABITHA: It sounds an awful lot like -  
  
WANDA: (rolls eyes) Whatever. (kicks Pietro in the gut) Wake up, my lovely brother. You're getting sand grains in your hair. Heaven forbid.  
  
PIETRO: (jumps up) Where? WHERE?!?!? Noooo. . . my beautiful hair . . .  
  
XAVIER: (reappears, with seashells stuck all over his body) You know, when that happens, you should try some herbal shampoo. Worked for me. . . (Notices everyone staring at his bald head) What? I wasn't bald all my life!  
  
MAGNETO: (arrogantly flips his hair purposefully in Xavier's face) Time to go! Fall in!  
  
EVAN: (Excitedly) Oooh! Boot Camp!  
  
MAGNETO: (snaps) Wrong reality show! Get your facts straight! (starts tearing at hair in frustration)  
  
XAVIER: (kindly) I wouldn't do that if I were you. That was how I became bald, you know.  
  
MAGNETO: (promptly stops) Really?  
  
XAVIER: (losing his head somewhat) I used to have beautiful, silky hair. Better than that skinny kid!  
  
PIETRO: (makes a fist) You want a piece of me, old man?  
  
XAVIER: (cowers behind Magneto) Aaaah!  
  
ALL: o.0  
  
MAGNETO: So. . . uh. . . You'll be given maps to show where your respective camps are - they're on different sides of this island, actually. We couldn't afford to evacuate so many islands. (sheepish look) Off you trot!  
  
Nobody makes any sign of moving  
  
MAGNETO: Oh, come on! Where's your team spirit?  
  
Silence  
  
MAGNETO: Humph. (pauses dramatically) First team to reach their camping site will get free pizza!  
  
A sudden rush of bodies, and the scene becomes magically empty  
  
MAGNETO: (sniggers) Suckers!  
  
LOGAN: (still behind the camera) Kids nowadays.  
  
*******CREDITS ROLL********  
  
[A/n: Okay, so this wasn't exactly an actual episode, was it? Next ep: the first reward/immunity challenge, and tribal council. Please review!] 


	2. Day 1 : The Burrow

Okay okay . . . I changed my mind about the one chapter one episode thing. It's too long. I'll be doing one day per chapter, so it'll probably take around 30 days (?). Not very sure. Exams just ended! Countdown to exam postings: 3 days. =(  
  
To my reviewers so far: todd fan, Red Witch, darksensations, me, gothic- rogue 13, Joanne and JeanGrey6 - thank you!  
  
  
  
::::::::::Day 1::::::::::  
  
--Doohb-  
  
"What the hell is this?" Pietro asked incredulously, looking at miles and miles of sand, and not much else. A miserable lone weed swayed in the distance.  
  
"I think it's our campsite yo," Todd said, hopping up and down. "Ain't much to look at, is it?"  
  
Lance studied the map industriously. "You guys . . . our camp is supposed to be next to the ocean."  
  
Wanda looked peeved. Tabitha tried finding a nice sandless spot to sit on, couldn't, and decided to sit on the poor weed instead. Fred looked blank, a look common for him when he done digesting his previous snack.  
  
Todd hopped over to Lance and peered over his shoulder. "You might be holding the map the wrong way round," he suggested helpfully.  
  
Pietro snatched the map from Lance and scanned it quickly. "We have to use a compass." He sounded disgusted. "I can't believe you didn't do that!"  
  
"It's not my fault!" Lance moaned in frustration. "I didn't even know we had one!"  
  
"Well, they did provide us with one at the beginning . . ." Tabitha trailed off, biting her lip. "I think we put it in one of our bags."  
  
"Great," Lance grumbled. "Just wonderful. Everyone search your bags!" He turned to Ororo, who was filming. "Did you see it?" he demanded. Ororo shrugged in response.  
  
There was a frantic search in all the six bags, resulting in items and various articles of clothing to be strewn all over the sand.  
  
Lance looked ready to throw a fit. "Where's our compass?"  
  
**********************  
  
--NemX-  
  
"Since when did we have two compasses?" Kitty asked curiously. "I thought we were only given one!"  
  
"Who's complaining?" Kurt replied cheerfully. "That way, we can get there in twice the time!"  
  
"Right," said Scott, the fearless leader of NemX. He led the tribe members forward into a dense forest. "Of course, not to brag or anything, but I _am_ an expert in reading maps . . ."  
  
At this point, Jean, who was hanging from Scott's shoulder, woke up with a start. "Where am I?" she asked dazedly. She promptly fainted once more when she saw who was carrying her.  
  
"What was _that_ all about?" Evan looked confused, as they trudged past many trees in no particular direction.  
  
Scott stopped suddenly to face the team. "Here we are!" he announced happily, waving his arms around for emphasis. Everyone (with the exception of Jean) looked at their campsite.  
  
"Ya're joking, raht?" Rogue snapped. They were surrounded by trees, trees, and more trees. "We're supposed tah be by the sea!"  
  
"Some expert," Evan commented.  
  
Scott flushed with annoyance. "The map says that we're supposed to be here . . ." He looked unsure all of a sudden. "Uh oh."  
  
"What?" Kitty asked warily.  
  
Scott looked sheepish now. "This isn't a map of Hawaii."  
  
Rogue was torn between killing Scott and Killing herself. She took a few calming breaths. "Then what is it?"  
  
"Zimbabwe."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Where's our map?" Kurt groaned.  
  
************************  
  
--Doohb-  
  
"Strange. We seem to have two maps," Pietro commented. "No matter. We're here anyway."  
  
Lance heaved a sigh of relief. "Now all we need is a shelter and our water source."  
  
"I got it yo," Toad piped up. He beckoned for Fred to follow, and he did so grudgingly.  
  
The remaining four stood by the ocean (a truly Emmy-winning moment!), with the wind blowing in their ears.  
  
"Shall we make a pact?" Tabitha said into the silence. "Any Brotherhood member who wins this will have to share the prize money with the rest."  
  
The other three looked faintly startled. Pietro spoke first.  
  
"Either way, it'd still be a Brotherhood victory."  
  
"We're gonna win this!" Lance cheered, pumping his fist into the air. "One million bucks! Whoohoo!"  
  
There was a trace of a smile on Wanda's face. "If we split the money six ways, do you guys think it'd be enough for me to migrate to Antarctica?"  
  
There was an awkward silence. "Well - uh . . ." Lance fumbled nervously. "It might be."  
  
Todd's voice cut through the air. "Yo guys! Check this out!"  
  
The four followed Todd into the trees (The Emmy-winning moment ended. Sigh.). They could only gape at what stood before them. Or rather, _below_ them.  
  
"I dug it with Freddy," Todd explained proudly. "This burrow's gonna help us plenty as a shelter."  
  
"A burrow?" Lance asked faintly.  
  
Pietro looked worried. "Won't it be all, y'know, muddy and stuff?" The last part came out as a squeak.  
  
"Don't be a wimp, Miss Priss," Wanda snapped. "A shelter's a shelter, isn't it? You could always sleep out here and if it rains, you'll get sick and die. On second thought, that isn't such a bad idea. . ."  
  
Pietro shuddered. "Okay, okay. I get the idea. Let's go."  
  
They all crawled in one by one, Fred with some difficulty. The burrow didn't turn out to be so bad; it was fairly spacious (yes, even with Blob in it).  
  
"How'd ya hold it up?" Tabitha asked wonderingly, staring at the soil ceiling above her.  
  
Todd smiled. "Slime, of course."  
  
They all shuddered. "Sorry I asked," Tabitha muttered.  
  
  
  
Tbc. . .  
  
[A/n: yay! Day 1 over! :) Review if you liked it!] 


End file.
